Oh those famous words once uttered from the once-beloved Arnold Schwarzenegger.
Sometimes when I lose my way in life, I feel like my mind always know's that "i'll be back" or "i'll get back" but sometimes it is just so hard to have that optimistic thinking- especially when you are constantly re-playing negative past moments. About a year or so ago, I became much more aware of perhaps the most ill-serving quality or habit that I possess- ruminating. I have spent more time ruminating about things that have happened in the past than I would like to admit. But let's say a lot. Like a lot a lot. Like so much so that I think if I were a superhero I would be deemed "The Ruminator" with my special powers being the ability to spend countless hours focusing on bad feelings and experiences from the past- not so super or heroic.
In case you were wondering, rumination is a way of responding to distress that involves repetitively (and passively) focusing on the symptoms of distress, and on its possible causes and consequences. It is similar to worry except rumination focuses on bad feelings and experiences from the past, whereas worry is concerned over potential bad events in the future.
Having realized this about myself, I said to myself "cut this shit out"- when that didn't work- I realized it would have to be a more strategic and often intervention.
First thing's first- I had to start employing the skills I teach to others- like thought stopping or intentional thinking. When my mind wants to dwell on something that happened- I have a plan in how I respond. Sometimes it's as simple as saying "STOP!" in mind. It's not an easy thing to do- especially when the negative experiences bring about negative or powerful emotions. The key, for me, and for others, is to acknowledge that it is out of your control now, accept that it happened, and identify something positive or neutral that has come of it. Then you can move forward- to the present. These types of skills and strategies are ones that need to be practiced and implemented on a daily basis- it's not a quick fix. I can say that although to some they may seem like subtle changes, I do feel like I have become much better at "letting it go"- whatever "it" may be. This is partly due to the fact that I have great people around me that not only listen to me, but bring me the joy that is needed to enjoy the moment and look ahead.
Like any self-improvement strategy, it takes time and there will always be set backs- but once you experience (even if only for one day) how good it feels to emotionally detach from something and move forward, you will always continue to work at it.
One thing is for certain, I am not going back to where I was... so I guess then, "I won't be back?"
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