Fun Female Seeks...

Oddly enough, I was inspired to write this blog after grabbing a handful of kashi go lean and closing the box last night. My entire family has a problem with not properly closing bags/boxes of food to maintain freshness- I am no exception. My boyfriend's family on the other hand is the pillar of freshness and almost all of their food items have their own "chip clips" sealing their contents. After I grabbed my handful and sat down to watch t.v- a online dating commerical was playing.

Every time I see a commercial for Match.com or Eharmony I always think to myself- what would my profile look like? What would I be looking for in another person? What do I find attractive?

The more answers, characteristics, and descriptors that came to mind, the more I realized how much I have changed since my younger years- and thank god for that.
In the word's of my dear friend Stacy- "when you're young, you're stupid."

I have never considered myself to be superficial but the more and more I thought about what the younger Jen would have said if she were being COMPLETELY honest- it became increasingly aware that I was certainly not looking too deep. I think a lot of people are like this and afraid to admit it because of the way it makes them sound or look. Get off of it. We were all idiots at some point and hopefully you've grown out of it by now. If you have not, you might want to seriously consider what is truly important in another person. Are you saying that "nice, honest, fun, dependable" are the most important things when really you dismiss those who may have those qualities because of they way they look or dress or may be perceived by others? The old Jen would have said "no way" to which the new Jen would reply "You're a dumb-dumb liar."

In saying that, if I am being completely honest, here is what my "list of preferred requirements" might have read when I was younger (please reserve your judgment until you too make your "completely honest" list)

Athletic
Good-Looking (if i'm being completely honest, i would have probably written "hot")
Funny
Nice
Tall (at least 6ft)
Muscular build (enough to make me look tiny but not so much that you look like a juice-head gorilla)
Abs that I can visibly count is a bonus
Nice teeth
Nice hands
Good Dresser- absolutely no cargo jeans or jeans with running shoes (like real shoes for running- i.e new balance), wears appropriate socks
Well groomed
Mildy smart
Shows signs of promise and ambition
Can drive
Can talk on the phone
Has a cool talent like plays the guitar
Non-smoker
Is impressive to my friends (i.e they too think he is hot)

That pretty much sums it up. I'm embarrassed just having typed that.

However, having matured, gone through life-experiences, and even dated a couple of these "gems", my list has drastically changed. Not only is it much more specific but it really is shocking to me what I truly have come to value in someone.

So, if I were to create a profile on one of these sites NOW, this is what it might look like:

Looking for someone who:

Is Smart
Is Motivated and Ambitious- by nature
Makes me laugh
Is Passionate about something
Is Considerate
I am attracted to (probably because they possess some of these qualities)
Has a good relationship with his family
Knows the difference between there, their, and they're
Makes the reservation, books the flight, organizes the party, etc... some of the time
Is healthy and active and can at least lift me off the ground
Is nice to me and my friends
Wants to be active with me
Listens
Writes things downs so he remembers them
Makes an effort to see me
Knows how to do laundry
Can save money but also knows when to spend it
Doesn't need to be babysat
Owns a nice suit
Eats fruits and vegetables willingly
Doesn't start fights when drunk
Is a Non smoker
Will flag a cab down even though it's only a 15 minute walk because he sees im in heels
Looks in the fridge before he asks me if we have pickles
Wants to provide even though he knows I can provide for myself
Knows the difference between messy and dirty
Has a desire to learn- about all different things
Isn't overly jealous
Puts up with me
Is a good human being


My oh my how things change.

I am pretty sure that I would yield "no matches" as that is a pretty demanding list; and while I'm willing to compromise on certain things, I am not willing to settle. If you know who you are and are truly honest with what you want and need, you will never have to settle.

I think it is no coincidence that as soon as my "ideals" started to shift, I found a guy who was perfect for me. Not perfect. Perfect for me. And not because he looks a certain way or does a certain thing for a living, but because he IS a certain way.
He not only possesses what I consider to be my "big hitter" qualities but he certainly does his best at the little ones.

It is true that you do start to appreciate the little things more and more as you get older and that became increasingly salient to me last night as I neatly and securely folded the inside bag of my cereal box and closed the tab at the top. I couldn't help but think- Matt, would totally appreciate this!